I think the common misconception about happiness is that it is not shared with pain.
We assume happiness is just something that flows over without any recognition of pain or any other kind of suffering. You cannot find happiness by living others’ ideals, values, or morals — you have to find and live your own.
Many people will question what is right for you and try to get you to live by their ideals, but this is a recipe for disaster. You will betray yourself, flail, and eventually hurt the people you love.
To find true happiness through suffering, you must eliminate attachments that do not serve you and be honest with those around you.
Your truth will never be another’s, fully. It serves others, your community, and this earth by acting on your own virtues and selfhood. It will be painful if you haven’t lived truthfully, but those who honor and see your value for who you are will come to understand that sharing someone’s life includes the pains, joys, and happiness.
Life is difficult, and it is even more difficult to be fully and boldly who you are. We all hope to find the tribe that loves us unconditionally, but we’ll never find them if we continue to deny ourselves.
There are ways to be yourself while minimizing pain in pursuit of our own happiness. I wish for you to be brave enough to be yourself, warts and all. To see that you can’t change others, but that you can change yourself in pursuit of a greater state of wholeness.
That is the version that will bring the most happiness, will be in balance with your suffering, and may lead to enlightenment.
Is an abundance of happiness possible?
I believe it is.
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