If I could tell myself anything, it would be to slow down, take care of myself, and listen to the world around me.
At this point in my life, I acted like Icarus–I needed to fly as close to the Sun as possible. I was in survival mode, and my only mission was to get as far away from where I was as possible. Where I was living felt suffocating, and I needed some space. I’m very proud of myself for doing some difficult things and fighting through a predisposition to settle for less.
I couldn’t breathe in motion or at a standstill.
It was crushing me, but I believe if I were able to forget all the toxicity, or rather shed it, I may have been able to manage what lay ahead with more grace and understanding.
Hindsight is always 20/20, but I’m trying to send that grace and understanding to my 20-year-old self. You did the best you could under the circumstances, and even if it wasn’t your best, you still made out all right.
If you’re there and feeling lost, angry, and alone, know that I get that fire. That desire to move on from people and places that no longer serve you. Not because you’re better, but because it is necessary for your survival, but more importantly, for you to thrive.
Take stock, be grateful to the people who have impacted you on your journey, and give them their flowers. In those moments of slowness, self-care, and listening to every part of your body, you’ll be able to determine what is for you and what is not. Your body will tell you, your mind will tell you, and your spirit will be your guide.
You’ll hurt others less, and you’ll be less shrouded with guilt, anger, and shame. In doing so, you’ll be able to meet others in a way that’ll bring everyone joy and prosperity. Live with simplicity and remember, it’s going to be okay either way.
Listen to your intuition. Listen to your heart. Find joy in the quiet moments and never forget where you came from, but don’t let it rule you.
You’re a good man when you slow down and allow yourself to be.
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